PREPARING OUR CHILDREN FOR A WORLD OF AI

If you’ve somehow missed the latest AI phenomena, Chat GPT, get out from that rock you’ve been living under, and join us in 2023! For the rest of us, I’m sure you’ve had mixed feelings about this incredibly useful tool and, like me, you’ve probably wondered: ‘Gosh, what does this mean for our future?’, and more specifically, ‘How will AI impact our children’s future?’, especially after news breaking last week that the heads of OpenAI and Google Deepmind warn AI could lead to the extinction of humanity!

Extinction is unlikely (🙏) - but like it or not, AI is here to stay, with a report by Goldman Sachs indicating that 300 million full-time jobs around the world could be at risk of becoming automated by 2030. Another study indicates that 50% of kids going to university today will retire with a job title that doesn’t exist anymore.

While these statistics might make you uneasy, there are also lots of reports that show the potential for AI to actually create more jobs than it replaces, and at the same time add a lot of good to our lives. Just last week an AI tool discovered a new antibiotic and a paralysed man was able to walk again thanks to a microchip developed using AI. The question then becomes: how do we prepare our children for a career that doesn’t even exist yet and a future that no one can predict?

One thing is clear: gone are the days of the Industrial Revolution when parents needed to raise a generation of compliant, conformist workers who knew how to do little but memorise and follow instructions. Our children need different skills to thrive in their adult life - and at the core of these skills is the ability to be more human than at any other point in history. Can it be automated? Then it’s not something we need to give our children.

So, what skills do they need and how can we foster these from a young age?

Creativity and Imagination:

All children are born with the capacity, and the drive, to get lost in their imagination. But our culture is slowly knocking this type of play out of childhood and instead replacing it with “extra-curricular activities”.

We’re no longer respecting time spent lost in play and therefore, we are losing play. We fear that if they’re not being taught their shapes and colours, their ABCs… or if what they’re doing can’t be documented and evaluated, then it isn’t time well spent.

The truth however is that making time for play is crucial if we want to gift our children with the ability to think outside the box and come up with innovative solutions. We need to reprioritise play, and more specifically, independent play where we intentionally schedule in unstructured play, without screens, rules, or an adult’s active involvement.

Critical Thinking:

Two main things come to mind to help our kiddos grow this skill: giving our children age-appropriate autonomy and inviting them to get involved in coming up with solutions.

Autonomy: From choosing the pyjamas they’d like to wear when they're one, to having a say in activities they'd like to add to their week when they're four; giving our children a sense of control shows them that they can make decisions around things that are important to them, while also keeping in mind the rest of the family’s needs.

Coming up with solutions: A great time to invite your child to help you come up with solutions is when a consequence for their actions is needed, or when they need to do something to make things right. To help with that, consider adding questions like the following to your parenting toolbox:

• ‘What can you do to make this right?

• How can you help your brother feel better?

• What help do you need from me?

• What do you think you could do about that?

• Knowing the impact of your actions, what do you think would be a fair consequence?’

Of course, we invite their input, and that doesn't mean this will always be appropriate, but if you could get them to suggest something that you're both comfortable with, this could be such a game-changer in your discipline as they would now be invested in the solution. Two birds: effective discipline and practicing their critical thinking skills!

Empathy:

We teach this primarily through modelling – by empathising when your children have big feelings, even when you don't always understand the reasons behind them. Being a calm, loving presence in their storm teaches them so many important truths, including:

• ‘I am not scared of your big feelings, these will pass, and you don't need to be scared of them either.’

• ‘I love you even when you feel yucky inside, and I will always love you no matter what you say or do.’

• ‘I am your safe space. You don't ever need to hide who you really are, and what you really feel from me. I get you.’

Having someone that tries to understand us and encourages us to feel the full spectrum of our emotions without trying to ‘fix us’ is key for us to grow our emotional intelligence, and more specifically, our empathy skills. When they know what it feels like when someone really sees them, they can, in turn, really see others.

As an aside: our emotions are like a road map to what we value. Teaching our children to be aware of, and to listen to, their emotions is powerful in helping them understand what actions they can take to move towards something they care about. It’s also helpful to teach them this truth: just because you feel it, doesn’t make it true. YOU are their ultimate life coach, and it is your job to bring perspective, to teach, and if necessary, to discipline – not during the raw emotions, and not when they are melting down on the floor, but rather much, much later when they’ve had some time to calm down and they’re able to listen.

Collaboration:

Instilling the importance of teamwork in a child will shape their cognitive, social, and emotional skills, which will guide them throughout their life. Explaining to our children that they are part of a team and also how their contribution fits into the bigger picture makes them feel a part of something bigger than themselves – something we all long for.

Try to make this fun, for example:

• Can you think of a cool family team name?

• How about a team mantra or special handshake?

• What activities or special outings can you include where you’re all working together on a task? (Think: board games, ultimate frisbee, or even a dance-off with another family)

A Growth Mindset:

When I speak to parents and ask them what they want for their children, I often get the response: ‘I just want them to be happy and healthy’. Now of course I think we all want this for our children, but when we make especially their happiness our number one goal, we miss out on teaching them resilience. In Western countries where our children are growing up in the safest time in history, and with everything designed to make their lives easier, we are not helping our children to thrive if we try to make them as comfortable as possible. Nothing that's ever really worth it comes easy - failure is a big part of life and the biggest catalyst to growth – and this is why we should always look for opportunities to allow our children to struggle and to figure things out for themselves, with us right there to comfort them when they inevitably fail…and learn! Think of telling them stories of some of your biggest failures, and the learning, growth, and opportunities that came through these. As your children get older, you will also have stories from their own failures to draw from. We don't always know why things happen in the moment, but when we push through and keep going, we often see the reason for it much later in life. Failure is a gift. Without it, they will never reach their full potential.

Curiosity:

Our children are naturally curious, but often because of our own fears and beliefs, and in our attempts to keep them safe, we unintentionally stifle this precious superpower. It’s good for our children to take the lead, to find the things in an environment that draw them in, and to move towards that. So, how can you create a space for this?

Inside your home, and more specifically the common rooms and play areas, should be a ‘yes space’. This means that you could safely leave your child here if you needed to do something else for a while, without them getting hurt or damaging your beautiful things. This way you can allow them to explore without having to redirect or repeatedly say no – naturally much more enjoyable for everyone involved.

Outside your home, and more so when they are still little, you might need to get a bit more involved in making sure that they are able to safely explore. Once you’ve sussed out the space and have clearly explained any specific rules, it’s time to let them lead again, and offer only the support that’s actually needed. For them to trust their own abilities and instincts, they need you to trust that they’ve got this too.

Some other great ways to help foster their curiosity is by introducing your children to food, music, and art from other nations. For us as expats in a nation with over 130 nationalities, we have the world at our doorsteps, and we so enjoy making the most of this. Finally, and very importantly: let them be bored. Boredom is often the first step to curiosity.

As I wrap this up, I’m aware that there is one thing that pulls this all together, and that is modelling. If you want your child to grow these skills - the skills they will need for the incredible future that awaits them - then be intentional in growing them in yourself, and then living them out daily. And remember: your words become their inner voice. Let that say: ‘I can do hard things. I can figure this out. I am deeply loved. I am enough.’

PS. If you're looking for a neat way to remember this blog, here's a little poem our friends over in the AI world came up with:

In the realm of AI, where possibilities bloom,

Parenting embraces new paths to groom.

Guiding children in a world of digital stride,

AI and parenting walk hand in hand with pride.

Autonomy and solutions, keys to grow,

Letting children decide, a sense of control.

Inviting them to think critically each day,

Empowering their minds to find their own way.

Empathy, a lesson through modelling we teach,

Being present, loving, and within their reach.

A safe space to feel, understand, and see,

Fostering their empathy, setting hearts free.

All my best,